Abi 4 23 200x300 - When positivity and gratitude become destructive
I’ve been quiet about it for a couple of weeks, but I have to speak up because it’s getting a bit crazy and a bit harmful.
It’s okay NOT to be positive right now. It’s okay NOT to be grateful.
It’s okay to stop consuming this over abundance of motivating content that’s being fire-hosed at you.
Because, the reality of the situation is that this sucks. There are so many silver linings, but if you focus on those all the time, you are actively invalidating yourself as a human.
You are being turned inside out and all your insides are on the outside. You’re feeling vulnerable, exposed, inadequate, embarrassed and afraid of how much more you can take this. And you’re afraid that the answer is “Not much”
You certainly don’t need one more person reminding you why this is an opportunity.
Your sovereignty is being tested. Your ability to surrender is being tested. And this shit is fucking hard.
The problem with consuming this constant flow of uplifting messages, is that you start to feel like something is wrong with you if you can’t embrace it.
Or if you embrace it for a moment and then fall back into the way you were feeling before.
As one of my clients eloquently put it, in reference to a motivational talk he streamed given by a guy with one arm and no legs: “Well, I’m fucked then, aren’t I? Because if this guy can find the bright side then I don’t stand a hope in hell”
And those of you who are coaches and healers, I want to encourage you to be VERY careful right now around your intention of sharing content.
As another of my clients put it so eloquently this morning:
“I feel like they’re just on a stage they created for themselves speaking AT me, trying to get me in their sales funnel, where I’m just a number to them, and they don’t care where I’m at in life and what I’m going through.
They just want to fire hose content at me … and what? I’m supposed to be eternally grateful?”
Obviously, we know the intention behind it is sincere (at least for the most part) and there is a genuine desire to help.
But it’s starting to feel canned. Tinny. Like a smile taped over a pile of dog poo. Invalidating the human parts of us that are not okay right now.
And in many cases it’s coming across as “Come here, come here, let me rescue you!” which translates to “I’m still valid right? I’m still valuable, right? I’m still needed, right”
Don’t do anything because you’re trying to help people. Do it because your soul will explode if you don’t.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amount of positive content out there… disengage. Go be a human. Go feel your emotions. It’s totally okay to withdraw.
Bottom line: Of course we are going to be fine. There’s no doubt about it. Of course we are going to feel better and be better people. It is impossible not to.
But we aren’t there yet. And it’s okay if you’re tired of people telling you that. Go cry a bit and have a hot chocolate. Watch your favorite movie. Sequester yourself. I know you’ve got this, but it’s okay to feel like you haven’t for a moment (or 6). For fuck’s sake. 💜😘