He broke me…. open
This is a story about the difference between twin flames and soul mates.
For there is a BIG difference.
Your twin flame breaks you. In every way imaginable. They grind you into dust again and again. Until your bones are ash and you have to rebuild yourself molecule by molecule. Atom by atom.
They back you up against the wall and the universe demands you come out fighting.
They twist your arm and heckle you to defend yourself.
They are like the high school sports coach you love to hate.
They will rip open your heart and stomp on it, leaving you bloody, your body broken, bleeding on the floor. Uncertain how you will ever make it through another day again.
Their purpose is to show you everything you are hiding from yourself. To show you where you need to heal. To force you – upon pain of your heart’s death – to stand your ground, defend your boundaries and GET. THE FUCK. BACK. UP.
They don’t even do it on purpose. They often don’t know WHY they do what they do to you. And they can’t explain why they feel compelled to do it over and over again. There’s no one to blame. It’s a contract you signed up for.
You agreed to be each other’s opponents in the friendly game of life, and once you step into the ring the only way to exit is to learn your lesson.
You are not supposed to be with your twin flame for life. You come together every once in a while to spa, then bloody and bruised you step out of the ring and catalyze your next evolution.
Your soul mate, on the other hand, is a support mechanism for you. This contract is totally different.
In this one you come alongside each other, and lift each other up. You poke each other’s wounds, yes. But you also hold each other’s hands while you heal yourself. It’s an interdependence built on trust, safety and deep compassion.
It’s an expansive relationship rather than a deconstructive one. And there will be deconstruction, believe me, but you will be handling it yourself, while your soul mate holds you tenderly through it, reminding you of how strong and beautiful you are and how you’ve got this.
The wonderful thing about life is that we have multiple twin flames and soul mates. There’s not just one chance.
There are sooooo many. For all kinds of lessons. And only some of them are romantic.
It’s important you recognize your twin flames and soul mates so that you make the most of your lessons.
I share this with you because July brought me the most destructive experience with one of my twin flames yet. It knocked me flat. It broke me open. It bled my body all the way dry and ground me into dust so fine that I thought I would blow away in the wind. I went catatonic for a week, and stayed comatose for another three weeks.
And as torturous as that experience was, and as afraid as I was that I would never recover, it made me so much stronger.
For in the dust, the deepest dysfunctional patterns can be released. The sharpest cuts can be healed. The most toxic of traumas can be dissolved. And in the rebuilding, I am piecing together the best version of me yet.
For those of you who are stuck in shock from your experiences with your twin flame, take heart. It’s a deconstruction process that can last a while. Stick with it. Have courage. Feel and release your emotions.
Follow your happiness and laughter at all costs.
You’re going to make it through.
I’ll be waiting for you with a blanket and a hug when you make it through the fire, and you will.
Just keep going. 💜