Although 2020 was an unprecedented year, it certainly wasn’t my most challenging.
When you’ve been homeless four different times, being told you have to stay inside your comfy house and have food delivered to you feels like a glee-filled gift.
HOWEVER, if you know me, you also know that I am vehemently opposed to minimizing other people’s trauma.
In my humble opinion (), the words “It could be worse” and other sentences like it are one of the biggest contributing factors to this anxiety and depression epidemic we are experiencing, with their covert shaming and repression of real, honest emotions.
I loved watching the plastic facades cracking, and people’s real, raw emotion coming out. I was cheering you on quietly, on the sidelines as you asked for help and vented about how awful everything was.
FINALLY! We can begin to stop pretending. We can stop being afraid of judgement, knowing that the whole world understands what we are going through. HALLELUJAH!
2020 WAS however a year of unprecedented growth, healing, expansion, truth-finding, self-knowing, resource-exploding and positive-ripples-into-the-world making. For me.
I learned some profound truths, many of which you may not fully understand. And that’s okay.
20 Things I Learned:
I don’t want to make $1 Million and you probably don’t either.
This was a fascinating one for me. This year kicked off with a bang, and I hit $100K months after $100K months in sales. I saw that I was easily on track to hit $1 Million in sales this year. (I ended at $800K, but you’ll see why I don’t care about what my number is later…)
Then right around the end of August, I realized $1 Million means nothing. I was only shooting for it, because it gets you in some different doors and people start to pay attention when you’ve crossed this threshold. I have a lot of good to do here, and I need eyes on me so I can help.
But the moment you focus on a number, you lose the mission. You lose the point. You lose the focus of what you are ACTUALLY doing. If you are here to make money, then great. Focus on hitting $1 Million and beyond. But if you are here to live, set making money as an intention and let it GOOOOOOOOOOOO.
2.I learned that what I actually want is just the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I just want my sovereignty.
As soon as I got to a point where I COULD, I completely relaxed around money.
And it led me to a profound realization….
3. When you get to the point where you have everything you want and need, and scarcity melts away… you realize that you are still left with your trauma, your desires, your confusion about what you want and you lack of knowing what you would do if money wasn’t an obstacle.
When money is your focus (or anything material, for that matter) when you get that thing, there’s a kind of emptiness behind it. The goal itself was empty and shallow, and once you achieve it there’s simply nothingness.
It made me profoundly understanding of why many rich and/or famous people commit suicide, or take drugs, or live so on the edge just searching for any kind of feeling within the emptiness of not knowing who you are and what you want.
So what is the thing then…. If not money, what is the point?
4. The point is TO LIVE. To connect, to love, to open your heart, to heal, to help, to grow and to make a difference. To experience the things you can ONLY experience while you’re in this fancy meat suit for a VERY BRIEF FLASH of time.
5. You can do ALL of the above, without having hundreds of thousands of dollars. Or millions. You can do all of the above no matter where you are in life. You can live the point of living NOW. ASAP. Today. Being IN the actuality of life, with all of it’s mundane and highs and lows.
6. I realized you have to GET INSIDE what it feels like to no longer be worried about money, to come to this place of emptiness where you can ask “So if money isn’t the focus, what is?” If you can’t tangibly feel that release of stress and anxiety around money, and peace flood in instead, you can’t put the worry down long enough to consider the question.
7. I realized there’s no such thing as finding your purpose in life.
In fact, I created a three day challenge called “How to Find Your Purpose in 3 Days” which is a total bait & switch because I don’t need three days. I can tell you right now:
You are your purpose. You don’t have to find it. You already are it. If you feel disconnected and dissatisfied it’s not because you haven’t found your purpose or your spark. It’s because other people have projected so much bullshit onto you about who you should be and what you should do, you can’t remember who you actually are and what you actually want. If you want to go on a journey, go inward.
Start to crack off all the caked-on shit that has accumulated over years of perceived inadequacy and self-punishment, and start to get down to the core of your YOU-ness. I promise you, you are EXTRAORDINARY!
8. We are only in control of ourselves.
I’ve known this for a while now, but it was quite scintillating to see the truth of that manifest like actually right in front of my eyes.
The only thing we could control this year was ourselves. Our emotions. Our behavior. Our thoughts. Our feelings.
We couldn’t control others (especially not their toilet paper buying habits), their actions, their emotions, their reactions, their outbursts
We couldn’t control the government, local or federal
We couldn’t control stores or businesses being open or closed
We couldn’t control our jobs
We couldn’t control the schools
We couldn’t control getting or not getting sick
We couldn’t control country borders being open or closed
We couldn’t control the consciousness of entire nations of people
We couldn’t control restrictions that were projected onto us
We couldn’t control landlords or building owners being completely unreasonable or inconceivably kind and forgiving
We couldn’t control what became law and what didn’t
The fun part of that was we are NEVER in control. We only build elaborate stories to convince ourselves that we are. This year, we had the truth smacked into us every single moment, and it was jarring, at many times painful and also so refreshing.
9. I learned that one of our greatest lessons as a humanity is to learn that we are sovereign beings. That nothing happens TO us without our consent, and that if things ARE happening to us without our consent we have a divine right to set boundaries, hold our ground and enact consequences as necessary.
Yes wearing masks became a worldwide debate (and please don’t turn this into an argument for or against), and many people have strong opinions either way. But it was also beautiful to watch people honor their own sovereignty whether they decided to participate or not.
And this is ALL across the board. We have been conditioned to accept information from certain sources as absolute truth and follow instructions blindly. Without question. Without wondering why or about the source of the information. Without passing anything through our own intuition first. And this has created countries of people who are lost in a constant state of sleepiness, moving in a zombie like fashion doing what we are told. We are destined for more than that. More than a life where we are born, do what we are told and then die.
The time has come for us to snap out of that trance state.
10. I learned that no matter how much healing you have done, there will always be more as long as you are alive
11. I learned that no matter how much you have come to learn to read red flags, some will still pass you by or go ignored. Some people will still take advantage of you, manipulate you or try to ensnare you in a paradigm where they can control you and use your light and energy for their own good. You can be straight-up psychic () and you can still be tricked.
12. I learned that it’s actually okay to give unconditionally, as long as you are equally willing to receive unconditionally.
13. I learned that no matter how alone we feel, we are never alone and are ALWAYS deeply held by the creator. There is nothing but truth in the statement “You will never be dropped”
14. I learned (well, witnessed) what I’ve always believed to be true, which is that nothing can get in the way of limitless resources, not even a global epidemic.
People from all industries, from different countries, at different levels of income experienced the exponential factors of income growth when we removed limiting beliefs about external factors controlling their access to abundance.
I have so many stories about clients who’s income and happiness increased exponentially during one of the hardest economies of our time, that I literally don’t have time to share them all. I am creating a project simply to collect and write up the stories and testimonials or shoot videos because it was so awe-inspiring to me.
15. I learned the more you take responsibility for your journey, but hold the reigns lightly, the more you will benefit and grow.
16. I learned that although we each have a path to follow, since we don’t see the whole map, the only way to take the most efficient path is to completely surrender, and act only from aligned, intuitive hits.
17. I learned that intuition rarely leads you on a straight or easy path. Although it is true that intuition will take you on the quickest, most expansive route, it is DEFINITELY and most CERTAINLY not straight.
18. I’ve learned that sometimes the universe (insert God, your spiritual guides, team, angels, intuition, higher self) has to trick you to get you to do what you need to do. There’s constant bait and switching to get you to take a step that you wouldn’t have taken ordinarily.
19. I’ve learned that there is no possible way for me to imagine (or for you to imagine) what we are capable of. All we can do is surrender and see what we am capable of with each unfolding.
20. I learned that if I don’t maintain access to not only my creative spirit but also my divine, wild feminine juicy goodness, I shrivel up and become hard, crusty and serious, like an old, dusty skeleton hiding in the far corner of my enormous barren inner world. Dancing, play, singing, creation, love and inspiration along with space to create is being woven into everything I do, including and especially business.
All in all, some really great foundations to build the rest of our lives on. Are you ready?!? Here we goooooooooooooooo!
I’ll be back tomorrow to share 21 Suggestions I have for 2021 to make it smoother and more gentle sailing.
Have a great night, petal, and Happy New Year!
What did you learn in 2020?